


Logophile: A Lover of Words

by artistic_alyx



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angus McDonald Has Nightmares, Angus has trauma, Found Family, Gen, Taako Loves Angus McDonald, angus has anxiety, angus has ocd, first fic kinda nervous, seven birds adopt angus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artistic_alyx/pseuds/artistic_alyx
Summary: An Angus found family hurt/comfort fic. Angus is learning to deal with his trauma, with a little help from the birds. Unfortunately, the poor little guy has a lot to work through, and his bad days come more often than the good ones.Angus has obsessive-compulsive tendencies, severe anxiety, and a boatload of trauma as a result of a bad childhood and the aftermath of the day of Story and Song.(Not abandoned I promise, I've just temporarily lost motivation for this fic, so I will be writing some others in the interim)
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Everyone, Angus McDonald & Taako, Magnus Burnsides & Angus McDonald, Merle Highchurch & Angus McDonald
Comments: 43
Kudos: 81





	1. Thanatophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanatophobia - the irrational fear of losing the people one is close to

Angus McDonald was definitely not crying. He was a fancy boy and a genius detective, neither of which had time for crying. So, no, he was definitely not crying. Except, he was, and he couldn’t stop. Nothing he tried worked, he was too distraught for detective work, he couldn’t see through the tears well enough to read, and no amount or pattern of finger taps could chase away the voice in his head that told him what a failure he was.

His small body shook as he heaved sobs into his pillow. It was just a stupid nightmare, he tried to remind himself of that. Magnus, Taako, and Merle were okay. They weren’t going anywhere, and they loved him. If only he could actually believe that. He really wanted to see them right now, but couldn’t bring himself to bother them with a call. 

He couldn’t call because he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if they didn’t answer, if his nightmare had somehow come true. Who could he call? Miss Lup? No, she and Mister Barry were likely busy with reaper work, Mister Kravitz too. Mister Davenport? No, Angus didn’t know him well enough for that. Madame Director? Maybe- but she was his boss and-

Angus’ train of thought was cut off as his stone of farspeech buzzed on his bedside table, next to his discarded glasses. He tried to catch his breath and disguise his current emotional state as best he could before answering.

“H-hello?” He said cautiously, resenting the way his small voice trembled and cracked as he forced the word out.

“Hey Ango!” Magnus’ voice came over the stone and a wave of relief hit Angus full-force. The sound of Magnus’ voice was enough to break down Angus’ sorry excuse for hiding his emotions. He hiccuped out sob after sob as Magnus stuttered on the other end.

“Woah, woah- Ango, is everything alright? You don’t sound so good.” Magnus sounded terrified, and Angus mentally kicked himself for making him worry. 

“M’sorry sir, I don’t know why I’m- why I’m crying so much.” Angus lied through his teeth. He had already made Magnus worry, he didn’t want to tell him he was crying because he was scared to lose him and Taako and Merle. Magnus shushed him over the stone, and Angus managed to calm down a little bit, swallowing around the lump in his throat. 

“It’s okay, Angus. We’ll be there soon okay? Just hold on.” Magnus said quickly and Angus heard the faint but familiar voice of Avi in the background. They were back. That was all the incentive Angus needed. He grabbed his glasses and shoved them onto his tear-streaked face, pushing some unruly curls out of his eyes. He scrambled out of his bed and ran to the door to his room, throwing it open just as Magnus turned the corner into his hallway, Taako hot on his heels, and Merle lagging a little ways behind. 

Angus all but launched himself in Magnus’ arms, making the man stumble, but he managed to hold his footing as Taako put a steady hand on his shoulder while he looked at the trembling boy in Magnus’ arms. Merle caught up shortly, placing a stubby hand on the small of Angus’ back as the boy quietly sobbed into Magnus’ shoulder. The four stood there, wordlessly, for a few minutes. Finally, Taako broke the silence. 

“Here, lemme hold my boy.” He said, tapping Magnus’ shoulder. Almost reluctantly, Magnus handed Angus off to Taako, keeping a protective hand on the boy’s shoulder. Taako hushed Angus softly, carrying him back into his room, not bothering to turn the light on as he found his way to the bed and sat down on it. He rocked Angus gently, absent-mindedly running a hand through his mess of curls. 

“Hey D’jangus, what happened, lil man?” Taako asked, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.   
“Nightmare.” Angus said, barely loud enough for Taako to hear. Taako nodded solemnly, wrapping his arms around Angus. He mouthed ‘nightmare’ to Magnus and Merle, who almost immediately sat down on either side of Taako and Angus. They sat like that for a while, each taking turns holding the boy and assuring him that they really were okay, and that they weren’t going anywhere as long as their boy detective still needed them. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but he did still need them. He had lived through an apocalypse, fought off shadows, and heard a story of his heroes dying over and over again, and the birds and the Bureau were the closest thing he had to a real, loving family. He couldn’t lose them again. 

Angus finally stopped crying after Merle had been holding him for a while and Magnus made a jab about how Merle was ‘hogging his boy.” Angus laughed softly and climbed off the bed and over to Magnus, standing in front of him with his arms outstretched. Magnus smiled, and in one swift movement, hoisted the boy detective into the air, twirled him around, then pulled him back into a hug. Angus sighed contentedly into Magnus’ shoulder, then yawned. Crying really takes a lot out of a kid, and Angus was still just a kid. It was hard to remember that with the way he talked and acted sometimes. 

“Tired, Ango?” Magnus asked, and Angus nodded, already feeling his eyelids getting heavy. The three ex-reclaimers shared a look as Angus fell asleep, resting his head on Magnus’ shoulder. They couldn’t leave him in his room alone, it didn’t feel right. So, they took him up to their shared living space. They bickered quietly over whose room Angus should sleep in, each of the three demanding that his room was a better place for the boy to sleep. Because Taako would wake up the fastest if Angus had another nightmare. Because Magnus could sympathize and talk Angus through another panic attack, if he had one. Because Merle was a dad, and would know what to do. 

Eventually, Magnus won under the condition that he would leave the bedroom door unlocked so Taako and Merle could check in, and Angus could get to one of their rooms if needed. And so, the ex-reclaimers + Angus settled in for the night. Doors all unlocked, lights in the kitchen and bathroom left on ‘accidentally,’ and Angus snoring softly, tucked under Magnus’ arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading, it really means a lot.  
> Shout out to my friend Echo for being a darling and beta reading this for me and encouraging me to post it!  
> Comments, kudos, and bookmarks mean the world to me! I'm going to try to update this every two days, on the odd-numbered days of the month! I'm not sure how many chapters there will be but I have up to chapter 3 written so far!


	2. Latibule

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Latibule - a hiding place; a place of safety and comfort

Angus woke with a start, his vision was blurred and he didn’t know where he was. Why was it so dark? His room was never this dark. His fingers drummed against the blanket he was under. A perfect rhythm of 8 taps per finger, switch to the other hand, then repeat. He tried to get his breathing under control, but was ultimately unsuccessful. He needed out. He kicked the blankets off and scrambled out of the bed, it was higher off the ground than his bed was. He didn’t bother to look for his glasses, he couldn’t see them in this dark anyways.

A sliver of light was visible under the door and he waited- 15 seconds exactly- to see if any shadows passed by it. When none did, he ran over to it and yanked it open, the light was enough to see by, but without his glasses he couldn’t see well enough to know where he was. His breath hitched as he heard a door creak open. Everything he had ever known screamed at him to run, to hide, to just get as far away from whoever this was as he possibly could. But his legs stubbornly refused to move.

_Good children don’t run in the house, Angus._ He heard his mother’s voice, tinged with barely-concealed anger, coupled with the loud beating of his own heart. 

“Agnes, what are you doing up? Everything okay?” A voice asked and Angus shuddered. Why were they pretending to care about him? Just yell or break things or get mad already. Get it over with. Or better yet, just send him back to his room. He wiped his face angrily as tears flowed down it. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he fell to the ground as he scrambled backwards.

“Don’t touch me!” He said, a little bit too loud. Oh no. “M’sorry. Please- I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t-” Angus could tell he was panicking too much. He tapped his fingers on the floor in their special rhythm, trying to calm himself down. 

“Hey, hey- Angus it’s me. It’s Taako. Are you- are you here with me now?” Taako’s voice broke through the whirlwind of thoughts in Angus’ head, and he flung himself at Taako, wrapping his arms around the elf’s shoulders and sobbing. Taako was taken aback, and it took him a second to register the crying child in his arms. What brought this on? Had he had another nightmare? But, most importantly, “Hey, are you okay, lil man?” 

Angus only shook his head and cried harder. So Taako picked Angus up off the floor, balancing the boy on his hip as he flipped the hallway light on. He carried Angus to the kitchen and set him down on the marble counter. The cool marble helped ground Angus and when he tapped his fingers against it, it clicked. He only had to repeat the full pattern twice to calm down, and when he did, Taako extended a glass of cold water, which Angus took and nodded in thanks. 

_Don’t just nod your head, use your words Angus._

“Thank you, sir.” Angus forced the words out and Taako cringed. He was all the way back to calling him sir. That couldn’t be good. He decided it was probably best to not draw attention to it just yet. Right now, he needed to know what had happened. 

“What happened, kiddo? Do you want to talk about it?” Taako asked, feeling his heart ache as the boy pulled his knees up to his chest, making himself as small as possible. 

“I didn’t- I couldn’t see very well- and I- I thought I was back with Sir and Ma’am. Uh- I mean my parents, my biological ones.” Angus said, realizing the implication behind saying ‘biological,’ as if he had different parents now. But- he did, didn’t he? At least, he thought of it that way. Sure- Taako wasn’t his dad, Miss Lup and Madame Director weren’t his aunts, Magnus, Merle, Mister Barry, and Mister Davenport weren’t his uncles. But, at the same time, they were the closest thing he had to a real family now, and that’s all that mattered. 

“Sir- uh, I mean Taako. I’m sorry I yelled earlier, I thought you were- someone else.” Angus felt himself choke on his words as his brain told him it was probably best not to tell Taako ‘I thought you were my mom coming to hit me for leaving my room.’ Taako only nodded, feeling that same ache in his chest from before for the boy in front of him. 

“Can I hug you right now, bubelah?” Taako asked, tentative but making sure his voice was still soft and soothing. Angus nodded and let his legs go back to dangling over the edge of the counter as Taako wrapped his arms around him, a firm but even pressure that helped to further ground Angus in the current reality. Angus felt himself start to tear up again, but he didn’t fight it this time. He just melted into the warmth of Taako’s embrace as he was carried to Taako’s bedroom and placed gently on the bed. 

Angus liked Taako’s bedroom. Somehow, the bedsheets were the softest thing he’d ever felt, the whole room smelled faintly of perfume (and a little bit of Mister Kravitz’s cologne, but Angus would never mention that), and the whole room was always lit at least a little bit by the various magical items Taako displayed on the shelves. Angus was back to sleep and snoring peacefully within minutes. And if the boy detective woke up with an extra blanket and Taako’s arm wrapped around him protectively- he’d never tell a soul, and he certainly wouldn’t complain. 

Taako was always a light sleeper, something he and Lup picked up in their time on the road. So when the boy shivered once during the night, he threw a blanket over him, only so the kid wouldn’t wake him up again, of course. And when the boy mumbled in his sleep, he shushed him gently, placing kisses on his forehead, only because the brat’s mumbling was annoying, obviously. And when the boy stretched out his arms and made grabby hands when he woke up briefly, he had to cuddle him, that’s just common courtesy, _Magnus._

Angus slept peacefully the rest of the night, and his dreams were filled with happy moments with his family, his _real_ family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Here's chapter 2, just like I promised! I'm really excited for this story and I'm especially excited to share it with all of you!  
> Once again beta-read by my darling friend, Echo! She's the one to thank for me having the confidence to post this!  
> To everyone who left comments and kudos last time: Thank you all so much! I love you all and I'm really glad you like my story so far!


	3. Nepenthe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nepenthe - something that makes one forget grief and suffering

It was late morning when Angus finally stirred. He rolled over to pull the blankets over his head to get a few more precious minutes of sleep and was met with Taako, who was equally eager to get back to sleep and fend off the start of the day just a little while longer. Taako smiled softly down at him, at least, Angus thought he did. Without his glasses, everything was still blurry. Noticing Angus’ squinting, Taako reached over the boy to retrieve his glasses from the bedside table. Magnus must have dropped them off earlier after realizing Angus was no longer sleeping next to him. 

“Morning, bubelah,” Taako said with a yawn as he pushed the glasses onto his boy’s face. Angus gave a sleepy smile as he straightened his glasses, then yawned in response.

“Morning, ‘Ko.” Angus was too tired to realize what he had just said, and Taako was too tired to properly react to it. He just pulled Angus closer and pressed a kiss onto his forehead. Angus giggled as he snuggled into Taako’s chest, savoring the warmth and affection. And that’s how Magnus found the two of them, smiling softly and enjoying feeling warm and happy and loved, unconditionally. 

Magnus had the better judgment to know not to disturb their little bubble of peace and quiet. Merle, who had waddled over to join Magnus in the doorway, did not. 

“Hey, kid! Sleep well?” Merle asked, a little loud for Angus’ tastes. The boy detective sat up quickly, his glasses almost falling off his face as he did so. He readjusted the frames on his face, once, twice, three times.

 _They’re fine, quit fiddling with them._  
Angus lowered his hand sheepishly. They still weren’t sitting right, but he forced himself to ignore that fact.

“Uh- yes, sir. I slept very well! For the second half of the night at least.” He admitted, staring down at his hands as they tapped out their special rhythm again, just once this time. Behind him, Taako sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes and groaned.

“What are you two idiots doing in here? Somebody better have made coffee.” Taako said as he stuck his tongue out at Magnus and Merle. Magnus laughed and retreated to the kitchen, presumably to make coffee for Taako. The elf pushed himself out of bed to follow him to the kitchen. Merle waddled over to the bed and hoisted himself up onto it to sit next to Angus, who was nervously balling the blankets up in his fist. Something must have really bothered him last night. He placed his hand over Angus’ and the boy looked up at him like he had just been snapped out of a particularly deep thought.

“You okay, kiddo?” He asked, catching the boy a little off guard with how sincere he sounded. He wasn’t usually one for letting Angus know he cared, especially not about whether or not he was doing okay. Angus thought about just not answering at all, but then he heard his father’s voice, loud and clear, in his head.

_When someone asks you a question, you answer them, Angus._

“N- yes, sir. I’m doing just fine.” He said, shrinking into himself. Lying was better than drawing attention to the fact that he was most definitely not okay. He had been through a lot in the past few days, and he wasn’t handling it very well. However, Angus couldn’t help feeling like his unease was something he didn’t deserve to feel. Taako, Magnus, Merle, Miss Lup, Miss Lucretia, Mister Davenport, Mister Barry, even Mister Kravitz, deserved to be so much more upset than he was, they deserved to be the ones getting all the attention and comfort they were currently giving to him. He felt kind of ridiculous for even getting upset at all now, he had no right to feel this way when everyone he cared about had suffered so much more than he had. 

“Earth to Agnes,” Merle said, waving a stubby hand in front of Angus’ face as the boy stared down at his hands once again, counting under his breath as they tapped. The boy’s fragile concentration broke and he once again looked up at Merle with a look that practically screamed ‘my brain was somewhere far away and I didn’t hear anything you just said.’ Merle understood that feeling well, he often got like that when he got to thinking about Mavis and Mookie. 

Mavis and Mookie, his children, his reason for living nowadays. Pan bless him, he wanted to do better by them now, he wanted to make things right, but he had absolutely no idea where to start. Then it hit him, Angus. Angus reminded him so much of Mavis, calm and collected and intelligent, but he also had the energy of Mookie, excitable and happy and- oh. Now Merle was the one staring into space. 

“Sir? Are you okay? Did I- did I upset you?” Angus asked as he shrank back, terrified of the answer to his own question. His small, gently shaking voice pulled Merle out of his train of thoughts. Merle chuckled quietly, shaking his head at Angus. 

“No. No, I was just- uh- thinkin’.” He said, making Angus sigh in relief, exhaling the breath he didn’t even notice he had been holding. “You’re a good kid, Angus. Now, let’s go see if Taako has made any breakfast.” 

It was a small gesture, but Angus knew it meant everything coming from Merle. The two walked into the kitchen together, finding that Taako had, in fact, made breakfast. It was simple, and he had made Magnus help, but it was still delicious. Taako simply could not make bad food, Angus was convinced of that fact. As the four of them sat and ate together, cracking jokes, telling stories, and just enjoying each other’s company, it hit Angus how much they really felt like his family. So much so, that if Angus made a tiny slip-up, would it even be noticed?

“Breakfast was great! Thanks, dad!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my darlings! This chapter is a little bit short and for that, I apologize, it was really hard to figure out how to characterize Merle, but I think I got it in the end! Apologies for the cliffhanger but the next chapter should more than make up for it!  
> Thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos so far, it means the world to me!


	4. Alexithymia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexithymia - difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotional responses

“Angus, wh- I, uh- what did you just say?” Taako sputtered, trying to wrack his brain for the right way to respond to this situation. How would a normal person react to a child they lov- _cared about,_ a child that had no good family left, calling them dad? Taako had no idea. He looked to Magnus, hoping his pleading stare was enough to get him to come in with the assist. Magnus just looked at Angus, looked at Taako, then shrugged. 

“I- I said thanks- thanks, dad.” Angus couldn’t bring himself to lie to Taako, even about something like this. Angus was too busy washing his plate over, and over, and over again to notice the game of eye contact charades going on at the table behind him. 

_Magnus, come on, help me out here._ Taako glared at Magnus.

_Dude, this one’s on you, he’s your kid._ Magnus stared back and Taako blushed so hard Magnus was scared he would yell or pass out or both. 

“Ango-” Taako started but was quickly cut off by the clattering of Angus’ plate as it slipped out of his shaking hands and collided with the tile floor. To Angus’ horror, it shattered. The three ex-reclaimers jumped to their feet almost instantly, seemingly on instinct alone. Remembering a century of being constantly on edge would do that to a person, it seemed. Angus wasn’t doing much better. He stared down at his trembling hands, then past them to the scattered shards of ceramic. He had really done it this time, Taako was bound to be angry with him, right?

“Oh, sweetheart,” Taako said softly, effortlessly stepping over the pieces of the broken plate and scooping Angus into his arms and off the floor. The word didn’t register with Taako as he said it, but it was exactly what Angus needed to hear. All the gross, tingly feelings of anxiety and the fear of abandonment melted away, and he just felt warm. Warm and loved and happy beyond measure. Angus gripped the back of Taako’s shirt as if it was the only thing keeping him afloat, and, in a way, it was. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Come on.” Taako said, carrying the boy out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, leaving Magnus and Merle to clean up the mess left behind. 

Taako sat Angus down on the bed and held the boy detective’s little hands in his own. Angus tried his best to avoid eye contact as he felt the all too common sting of tears threatening to form. He knew it. Taako was mad at him. 

“If you’re angry with me just tell me, sir, I can’t take this,” Angus mumbled, trying to mask his sadness with anger. 

“Angus, I’m not angry. It was an accident, wasn’t it?” Taako rubbed his thumbs over the back of Angus’ hands as Angus took a deep breath and nodded. He swallowed hard, trying to force down the lump in his throat. 

“Hey, look at me, bubelah.” Taako let go of one of Angus’ hands to brush one of the boy’s tears away. Angus leaned into the touch and turned his head to face Taako. “Angus McDonald. I am never going to let anything happen to you. Magnus, Merle, Krav, Lucretia, Lup, Barry, everyone at the Bureau, even Davenport, they all feel the same way. You’re our special little boy detective, and we _love_ you, dammit.” Taako looked confused for a second, like that wasn’t what he had meant to say when he opened his mouth. He turned around and sure enough, standing in the doorway was Merle, his X-Treme Teen Bible still faintly glowing with the residue of a surprisingly competent Zone of Truth. Taako’s face went red with a mixture of anger and embarrassment over having just been forced to pour his heart out. 

“Time to go!” Merle said, waddling quickly off to his own room before the elf decided to give in to his impulses to kill him. Taako turned back towards Angus and his anger faded instantly. He was smiling softly up at Taako in a way that was just so- Angus. His eyes were hopeful and sparkling, his smile was soft but so full of love, he had taken some of the blankets in his hand and was clenching and unclenching his fists rhythmically. _Fuck,_ Taako really loved this kid, no, not just this kid, _his_ kid. He was going to have to make some changes to his future plans. 

“Um, si- Taako? Can I ask you something?” Angus said, hesitantly.

“Anything, lil man.”

“Did me calling you- calling you dad, did that bother you?” 

“Honestly? Although it isn’t like I have another choice currently. It threw me off a lil bit, bud, but if it makes you happy, I’m not going to stop you.” It felt like an immense weight evaporated from the room within a matter of seconds. Angus flung himself at Taako and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. They sat like that for a while, just absorbing what had just happened. It was Angus who finally broke the silence.

“Oh- your plate.” He whispered and Taako burst out laughing.

“Bubelah, you’re still worried about that? I bet Magnus and Merle have already found a way to patch the damn thing up like it never even broke.” Taako gathered Angus in his arms and carried the boy out into the kitchen, where Magnus was finishing up cleaning the kitchen up after breakfast. On the counter, sat the previously broken plate, good as new. Thank Istus for mending spells. 

“Everything okay, Ango?” Magnus asked as Taako put him down.

“Yep!” Angus said, walking over to help Magnus finish putting the dishes away just how Taako liked them. “Oh, but sir?”

“Yeah, bud?” 

“I love you!” 

“I love you too, Ango.” Magnus smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair. 

The rest of the day went by peacefully, that is until Lup and Barry showed up to help the three ex-reclaimers pack up to move off the moon base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Despite the risk of sounding like a broken record, and I want to say thank you guys so so so much for reading and leaving comments in kudos. It really does mean the absolute world to me.   
> Next chapter will focus on Lup and Barry's visit and their thoughts on the "Angus calls Taako dad" situation! I will see you all in 2 days!


	5. Tacenda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tacenda - things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over silence
> 
> Important update at the end of this chapter.

Angus had been reading, curled up on the couch next to Magnus who was putting the finishing touches on an intricately carved wooden voidfish, when Lup had barrelled into the dorm, dragging Barry behind her to the best of her newly corporeal abilities. Angus hopped up from the couch quickly, depositing his Caleb Cleveland novel carefully onto the coffee table as he walked over to greet the couple. 

“Miss Lup, Mister Barry! Hello, it’s good to see you!” Angus smiled brightly, all but leaping into the offered embrace of Lup and Barry. He hadn’t known them for more than a few weeks, but it was so hard to not feel loved around them. They loved each other, and everyone around them, so deeply he could almost feel the warmth radiating off of them. Oh, wait- that was just Lup. 

“Oh! Sorry, babe!” Lup said as she shook her hands to put the slight flames out. Angus smiled so hard his face hurt. The reason for Lup’s sudden spike was an easily solved mystery. Taako had just left his room to see the reason for all the commotion. 

“Taako!” Lup smiled and rushed over to him, knocking him back against the wall as she threw her arms around him. Taako coughed as the air was knocked out of him, but he returned her embrace all the same. The twins always looked the happiest side by side, and always seemed just a little bit down when they were separated. Angus had noticed but he figured it was best not to mention it to Taako. 

“Hehe, hey Lulu,” Taako said, and it was evident that Lup was too wrapped up in getting to hug her brother for the first time in twelve years to bother with correcting the childish nickname. The two of them took their time parting, the comfort of finally, finally, being fully, corporeally, reunited was something worth savoring.

“You ready to pack up, Ango?” Barry asked, smiling down at the boy detective. 

What? What did Barry mean by that? Angus tried to remember ever mentioning leaving the moon base, and then it dawned on him. He wasn’t leaving, Taako, Magnus, and Merle were. He was getting left behind, they didn’t need a kid to look after. Especially not one who was such a hard time to deal with. 

_Don’t cry, absolutely no crying. This is a happy day and you don’t get to ruin it._ He told himself.

Instead, he settled for just nodding as enthusiastically as he could manage. He did want to be useful after all, it was the least he could do after eating up so much of their well-earned relaxation time. 

“Let’s get to it then! Magnus, want us to help with your room?” Barry turned to Magnus who had just finished his voidfish carving. 

“That’d be great! Thanks.” The fighter led them to his sparsely decorated bedroom, most of the objects that were used for decoration were carefully crafted woodworkings, coupled with the occasional fantasy wrestling poster. Barry summoned a few boxes and started loading them up, handing identical boxes to Magnus and Angus. Magnus began tossing things haphazardly into his box while Angus carefully began to pack up the wooden figures, most of which were ducks. He ran his fingers lightly over the grain of some of them before placing them gently into the box, interlocking them in a way that assured no damage would come to them and cushioning them with the occasional shirt. This wasn’t so bad, all he had to do was not think about them leaving. Easy, right?

Angus kept his head down and focused on the task he had set for himself. He counted the figures as he put them in the box, adjusting each one a few times before moving on to the next. It was slow going, but it gave him something to focus on. A solid 16 woodworkings later, he pushed the box over to Barry to seal up.

“Good work, kiddo!” A cheery reply that made Angus swell with pride. Barry thought he had done a good job. 

“I’m going to go check on Lup. You wanna come with?” He asked, a few minutes later, and Angus nodded quickly. 

They found the two elves folding a pile of clothes taller than Angus in Taako’s room. Taako was getting bored quickly, judging by the way he stopped every couple of minutes to smooth out a non-existent wrinkle or run his fingers over a hint of a trace of blood that hadn’t come out in the wash. As Angus and Barry walked into the room, he snapped.

“Ughhhh,” Taako groaned as he stood up to collapse onto the bed. “Taako’s done with laundry. Angus, bubelah, will you take over for me?”

“Taako! Don’t ask him to do your dirty work for you.” Lup jabbed as she leaned back to elbow Taako, who groaned in response. He retrieved a spare skirt that had found its way onto the bed and lobbed it at her, delving into a fit of giggles as it hit her square-on. Lup made grabby hands at Barry as the skirt slid off her head, and Angus couldn’t help but chuckle. Barry sat down on the floor next to Lup and started folding a blouse. Angus pulled a coat from the pile and tried his best to fold it into an acceptable shape. 

“Ango, come here, Taako needs cuddles from his boy.” Lup teased, tilting her head towards Taako, who had fallen asleep. Angus smiled as he climbed up to sit on the edge of the bed, swinging his feet as they hung off the side. 

“Cuddle time, _salen lyth._ ” Taako stirred slightly, waking up enough to wrap his arms around Angus and pull him into a hug. Lup gasped quietly, then smiled, whispering something to Barry that Angus couldn’t hear. He was too comfy to worry about solving that particular mystery, whatever Taako had said would remain unknown to Angus, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay on this chapter! I start school again tomorrow so I've been doing a lot to get ready for that.   
> Also, an important update. My posting schedule is changing starting today! Rather than every other day, I will now be posting every 4 days, on every other odd-numbered day. So the next chapter will be going up on the 15th, not the 13th.  
> That's all from me! Thanks for reading and thanks for all of your comments and kudos!


	6. Athazagoraphobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Athazagoraphobia - the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, or being replaced

Angus felt a cool breeze on his skin and shivered, turning towards the space where he had expected to find the warmth of Taako or at least a blanket to curl up in, but there was nothing. He reached out, eyes still closed, hoping that someone would see him and take the hint that the boy detective would like some cuddles and more sleep, please and thank you. Once again, there was nothing. Finally, he opened his eyes and was met with the sight of a barren room. 

“T-Taako? Miss Lup? Magnus?” He called out softly, hoping they were just out of sight and would come back in to find him. He crawled out of the bed and walked to the door, gasping as he pushed it open only to be met with the sight of an empty dorm. That couldn’t be right. He ran out the front door into the hallways of the bureau. 

People he had never met before went about their work, walking around the boy detective as if he wasn’t even there. He broke into a sprint desperately searching for something, someone, anything familiar. He blinked, and then he was in the voidfish chamber, staring down Lucretia as she looked at him with cold, unknowing eyes. Floating in the tank, about to be devoured, was a single slip of paper. It read: Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Taako Taaco, and Angus McDonald. And then suddenly, the whole world went black. Everything around him was replaced with the inky black opalescence of the Hunger. He tried to fight it, to get away, but it was everywhere. 

“Angus!” He heard his name called in the distance, he couldn’t recognize the voice. Why couldn’t he recognize the voice? Wait, Angus? Who was Angus? Where- no, who was he?

Taako held the boy’s hands as he thrashed in his sleep, he didn’t know what else to do. Lup and Barry had left just a few minutes before to go see if Merle needed any help packing up his obscene amount of houseplants. That’s when it had started. It was simple at first, Angus had just turned in his sleep, snuggling closer to Taako, who had woken up a few minutes earlier. Taako smiled down at him when he mumbled his name in his sleep. That smile vanished when Angus started to turn in his sleep, his breathing accelerating to an alarming speed. 

“Angus, Angus wake up!” Taako tried to force his voice not to waver as he tried to wake Angus. Taako held his breath as a wordless scream came from Angus as he sat up, tearing his hands out of Taako’s grasp to clutch his chest. Within seconds, Lup, Barry, Magnus, and Merle had made it to the elf’s bedroom. Angus could feel his heart pounding, mirrored by the sound of Taako’s next to him. _Taako._ Angus turned to face him with tears in his eyes, lower lip quivering as tears threatened to fall. Taako wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into his lap, rocking him gently as the boy sobbed into his shoulder. Eventually, Merle shuffled back to his room, followed shortly by Barry and then Lup. Magnus stayed behind, lingering in the doorframe until Taako waved him over once Angus had calmed down enough to take even breaths.

“Hey, Ango? Do you- want to talk about it?” Magnus asked quietly, placing a hand on Angus’s shoulder as he sat down next to him and Taako. Angus turned his head slightly to look at Magnus, tears still streaked down his cheeks, and he was clutching onto Taako’s shirt for dear life. He wanted to say no, to just force the whole horrid concept to the back of his mind and never talk about it again, but this was his family. If anyone could make him feel better about all of this, it was them. He took a deep, stuttering breath and started to explain. 

It all flooded out at once, being alone, being ignored, forgotten, and then the Hunger. Everything he had ever been afraid of, all jammed into one nightmare and tied up with a black opalescent ribbon. After he got it all out in the open, Angus felt silly for all of two seconds before he was sandwiched between Taako and Magnus. Neither said a word, but the message was clear, and that was enough for Angus. 

It was a long time before anyone made any sound at all, the silence was only broken by Taako sniffling quietly, then cursing under his breath. Angus breathed out a single giggle, then fell back into another batch of sobs, attempting to smother his tears by snuggling into the warmth of Magnus, who was biting back his own tears with practiced precision. 

“Ango- I’m so sorry.” Magnus whispered, holding Angus closer to him while Taako slipped away to wipe his eyes discreetly. 

“B-but sir it’s not your fau-” Angus started to protest but Magnus hushed him softly.

“I know, bud, I know. I’m just- I’m sorry we never realized how heavy this was gonna hit you.” Magnus sighed, it was so hard to remember that Angus was only 11 years old. He was just a kid and he had already been through so much. 

“Hey bubelah, why don’t we go furniture shopping for your room at my house after we’re done packing up your room? Does that sound good?” Taako was deflecting, trying to change the subject so Angus would have something to focus on other than the nightmare. But apparently he said the wrong thing as Angus fell into a new batch of tears, except this time he was- laughing?

Angus felt so much lighter. All of that worry and nightmare-inducing separation anxiety that had plagued him all day was gone with a few simple words from Taako. He laughed softly to himself, what was he even thinking? Of course they weren’t leaving him behind. He couldn’t find the words to tell Taako why he was crying again, even as the distressed elf hurriedly pulled him into a hug and hushed him. Maybe this time, he didn’t need to explain. Maybe, just this once, he could just soak up the comfort Magnus and Taako were more than willing to give him. He let himself dwell on that thought for all of 3 seconds and was immediately done with it as he felt Taako’s shoulders shake. 

“You really want me to live with you, si- Taako?” Angus felt Taako tense slightly, then pull away to look him in the eyes.

“ _Salen lyth,_ I- of course I do.” Taako was reeling. Had Angus really thought they were just going to leave him behind? He almost kicked himself. Of course he had. 

“What does that word mean? Sal- Sallenlith?” Angus fumbled, trying to pronounce the unfamiliar language but ultimately failing judging by the look on Taako’s face. 

“Oh- it uh- it means ‘my child.’ I don’t- I guess it just slipped out.” Taako had wanted to make up some lie, say that it meant “dork” or something to that effect, but one look at Angus proved the boy detective wasn’t going to fall for that. Angus didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. He just wrapped his arms around Taako, who kissed his forehead and picked him up, bouncing him lightly to make him laugh. Magnus smiled and nodded to Taako as he stepped out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this hiatus lasted longer than I expected. I'm going to try my best to get back onto a posting schedule but I have alas fallen victim to the creativity killing virus that is junior year of high school, so updates may not be as consistent as I want them to be.


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